Where am I going

My kids wanted to go see a country concert last night. I agreed we should go. How could I not go, my kids wanted me to go with them. Soon they might not.  I was on the phone and mentioned the concert to my brother. 

I said “we are going to see a concert tonight, Angelina Ballerina”

My daughter said “it’s Kelsea Ballerini. Angelina Ballerina is a child’s book. About a mouse”

I laughed and said “Whoops. It’s kinda close, sort of”.

She said “Nope. Not one bit”       but I saw her smile, even though she tried not to. 

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I can’t cook

Me-I like to cook

Woman-I can’t cook. I’ve never used an oven. Wait, I’ve made shrinky dinks. Do those count. They go in the oven.

Me-Sure, let’s say that counts. Sigh…

Breakfast buffet 3

Another day at a hotel with a breakfast buffet. I’m actually looking forward to being home, my pop tarts in the cupboard are looking darn good about now. I decided to have the “make your own” waffle. I tried to fill the “waffle measuring cup” with waffle batter but no batter came out, it must have been empty. There was only strawberry waffle batter so I decided to try it. I poured the batter in the waffle iron and closed the lid. A bright red clock on the waffle iron started counting down, two minutes thirty seconds until it was done. A man came over and tried to get batter. I told him only strawberry is available and that I’d be done in one minute and thirty seconds and gestured to the red timer. I looked away for a second and the man had opened the waffle iron. I explained that my waffle wasn’t done yet. He said “my bad” and walked away. I stuffed my mangled waffle back in the iron, let it cook and ate it while I  thought about writing this blog post and going home.

  

They ignored him

My kids dad made a rare visit. It was a surprise. He just showed up. He must be exhausted from fighting his demons.The kids were singing at church tonight so I invited him to come and see his kids. I figured the kids would love to show off for him and church couldn’t possibly hurt him. I was surprised he agreed. He walked in to get a seat for us. I came and joined him and he was upset as he told me that he tried to get a seat up close but that rude woman wouldn’t let me get by and when he talked to her she ignored him.  He was angry. He is usually angry. So, I pointed to the large sign that said deaf section. He was quiet. 

What’s that smell?!

I was given a ring that is put on the light bulb of a lamp. Fragrant oils are poured into the trough around the ring and the room becomes fragrant as the light bulb heats the oil. I have enjoyed the gift. The room smells so nice. I hurriedly added “oil” to the ring last night. As I sat reading I started to smell a medicine smell. I walked around sniffing trying to locate the source of the unpleasant smell. It was coming from my lamp. I looked at the oil I had used. Yep, you guessed it I didn’t put oil in it. I used orajel (the stuff you put on babies gums when they are teething). The bottles looked the same. The smell was not the same! The room smelled like simmering medicine all night. Sigh…

He tried

My kids daddy came to see them for the holidays. He was on great behavior. I saw glimpses of the man I use to know. The kids have rarely seen him like that. They were so happy. He listened to them, played with them, laughed at their jokes. It was their best gift of all. Sadly, his visit was one too many days. He was leaving tomorrow and came unglued today. The good news was he fought his demons for a whole week. The bad news was the demons won again.

You want to talk…

Me-you called me gutless, pathetic, worthless and an asshole. That’s one reason why I don’t want contact with you.

My kids dad-I didn’t call you gutless.
Can’t we talk.

HA

Thanks Dad?

My dad brought over a bag of random stuff he thought my kids “might like to play with”. One of the items in the bag was a package of mouse traps. Really dad? I’d blame it on his age but he has always been like that.

Invitation for lunch

I’ve had some ups and downs financially. Really high, highs and really low, lows!
During one of those downs I took my kids to Taco Bell for a “treat”. I could barely afford a few 99 cent tacos. A friend joined us for lunch. She talked about a great new place for lunch and invited me to try it one day. They had the best appetizer and it was only 125 dollars. (125 dollars! Lol) I swallowed my bite of bean burrito and reminded her that we were in Taco Bell, because I have no money. She looked confused and said I know that’s why I invited you for lunch.
I laughed! She looked even more confused.

Eating plastic eggs?

Him-the eggs taste burnt
Me-I don’t think so
Him-tastes like plastic
Me-plastic? I don’t thinks so
Him-like you have the handle of the pan melted in there.
Me-what? That’s not even possible
Him-did you use a plastic spatula and melt it in there?
Me-no
Him-what did you use.
Me-a spoon
Him-walks over to the stove and inspects
Me-you ate three helpings? There isn’t one bite of eggs left. Then I had to laugh.