I was on what felt like a long flight home to LA. The pilot told everyone to remain seated, he was expecting turbulence. A man in front of me stood up in the isle and started stretching. It appeared that he was trying to do the splits. Then he bent his leg at the knee and pulled his foot towards his butt. The pilot repeated his announcement to please be seated. The man stretching in the isle said “I thinks that’s being said to me” then he bent his other leg behind him and pulled his foot toward his butt. He continued his stretch in spite of the announcement. When asked to sit down by a flight attendant he sat down and took out a container full of spaghetti and meatballs. He took out three plates and divided the pasta and meatballs onto the plates. He passed out the plates and I watched his child eat, spill and mash his meal. Did I mention it was a long flight?
Another day at a hotel with a breakfast buffet. I’m actually looking forward to being home, my pop tarts in the cupboard are looking darn good about now. I decided to have the “make your own” waffle. I tried to fill the “waffle measuring cup” with waffle batter but no batter came out, it must have been empty. There was only strawberry waffle batter so I decided to try it. I poured the batter in the waffle iron and closed the lid. A bright red clock on the waffle iron started counting down, two minutes thirty seconds until it was done. A man came over and tried to get batter. I told him only strawberry is available and that I’d be done in one minute and thirty seconds and gestured to the red timer. I looked away for a second and the man had opened the waffle iron. I explained that my waffle wasn’t done yet. He said “my bad” and walked away. I stuffed my mangled waffle back in the iron, let it cook and ate it while I thought about writing this blog post and going home.
Breakfast buffet day 2
The family in front of me each filled their cereal bowls overflowing with sausage, not cereal.
I was on the plane flying from LA. The person next to me was a woman about fifty who had never flown. She spent all of the two hour flight hyperventilating, banging her head into the headrest of her seat and banging her head into the seat in front of her . She also sat with her legs crossed Indian style (I know that’s not a politically correct term. My children were taught to say “criss cross applesauce” in preschool) Her knees were on my legs. She rocked less when her legs were in this position. At first I couldn’t decide which was worse, her knees on my legs or her rocking. I quickly decided I needed my space and she needed to stay in her space. A flight attendant came by with bags of snacks. I took one, the woman next to me put both hands into the snack bag and took as many bags as her hands could hold. I closed my eyes at this point and faked sleep while I listened to her pretzel bags rustling. It was a long flight! For both of us, I assume.
At a hotel that has a free breakfast buffet. I consider it breakfast and a show.
-I watched people putting pieces of sliced ham into the toaster
-A woman got breakfast for her child. She came back to her table dumped the food on the dirty table for her child to eat. Oh, by the way one of the foods she dumped on the table was oatmeal.
– Two woman fought over who uses the waffle iron first. Voices were raised. Names were called. Because of a waffle…
I accepted a facebook friend request a week ago. The request was from a guy I knew who is very successful in the film business. We had been out of touch for a few years. I looked at his FB pictures and was amazed by the incredible pictures of his travels. He travels all around the world! Now I regret accepting his request. I looked at my FB pictures and suddenly feel inadequate. I haven’t posted a picture since I became his friend. I am shocked by the grandeur of his life. I hit a low point in my life and was feeling ok that I’m somehow surviving, now I don’t feel that way.These are a few of my pictures and his pictures.
My picture- Ice cream with my kids. I used all the change I could find to buy it and I had a coupon. I also used the old excuse that I wasn’t hungry because I couldn’t afford another icecream. His picture-at the Italian Rivera having gelato. (Somehow I doubt he used a coupon for his gelato or paid for his flight with change)
My picture-paintings my kids made. (By the way I had a coupon for the two hour art class where they painted. His picture-waiting in line to see The Last Supper. I’m thinking there were no coupons involved here either.
My picture-my birthday meal at chick fil a. His picture-His birthday meal he ate while at the French Alps. (Too bad for him no chicken strips, I assume)
I went to Studio City
He went to Switzerland.
If I could unfriend him I would but I think he would notice. If I post I hope he is just too busy looking at his other friends lives to notice my posts. So if you follow me on FB and notice I stopped posting now you know why. It’s nothing my FB friend did that makes me want to unfriend. To quote George Costanza “it’s not you, it’s me”