Let’s not have lunch

He said “I had four servings of intestines for lunch. Ate them in ten minutes. I had pig rectum yesterday. What did you have”
I said “I had a sub, at subways”

Note to self, never eat lunch with him.

Invitation for lunch

I’ve had some ups and downs financially. Really high, highs and really low, lows!
During one of those downs I took my kids to Taco Bell for a “treat”. I could barely afford a few 99 cent tacos. A friend joined us for lunch. She talked about a great new place for lunch and invited me to try it one day. They had the best appetizer and it was only 125 dollars. (125 dollars! Lol) I swallowed my bite of bean burrito and reminded her that we were in Taco Bell, because I have no money. She looked confused and said I know that’s why I invited you for lunch.
I laughed! She looked even more confused.

Bad date

I had a disagreement with a man I had a lunch date with. We went in the restaurant and when the server asked how we were I said “good and you” my date said “liar” quietly. Yep, that was a good lunch, no, not really.