Where am I going

My kids wanted to go see a country concert last night. I agreed we should go. How could I not go, my kids wanted me to go with them. Soon they might not.  I was on the phone and mentioned the concert to my brother. 

I said “we are going to see a concert tonight, Angelina Ballerina”

My daughter said “it’s Kelsea Ballerini. Angelina Ballerina is a child’s book. About a mouse”

I laughed and said “Whoops. It’s kinda close, sort of”.

She said “Nope. Not one bit”       but I saw her smile, even though she tried not to. 

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Dating

My daughter said she had a dating question. I told her to ask anything she wanted. 

She said “do old people find other old people attractive, or do they just have to date in their range?”

(I wonder if she thinks I’m in the old people category?)

My cat on the fridge

I just moved into a new place. I was excited to show my brother (with a PhD) that I (the only family member without a PhD) was getting my life together. He was sitting in my only chair talking to me. I was listening and noticed my cat, Jumping from box to box behind my brother. I tried not to watch the cat too much so my brother wouldn’t look behind him. Then the cat jumped on my kitchen island, from the island to the kitchen counter. I wanted to get the cat but I didn’t want my brother to see the cat on the counter. He would be freaked out. I listened to my brother, I nodded occasionally, glanced at the cat frequently. I watched the cat leap onto the top of the refrigerator. I couldn’t believe he jumped that high. I really wanted to get the cat down but I ignored him as best I could. The cat stood on his back feet still on top of my fridge. I was impressed. My brother saw me looking over his shoulder. He looked at me, then the cat. He shook his head and left the room. I think disappointed pretty much sums up that head shake.

You lie like the mailman…

I moved and unfortunately have two places for one month. Sounds glamorous, (read this sentence like Thurston Howell the third) I left my keys at my other home, oh my it’s confusing having two homes. The glamour goes away quickly because I have to pay two rent and two utilities and I’m barely paying one.

I went to check my mail at home one because I’m not getting much at home two. My box was full of mail! I asked the postal worker standing by the box why I’m not getting my mail forwarded. He said “because I don’t work every day, only I forward your mail” I said come on you don’t forward it the main post office does. He says “nope I do it” I said come on you put the little yellow sticker on my mail with
the new address? He said “yep, I do”
I was like come on now, you are messing with me. He said “nope I print little yellow labels in my truck” I said something like oh, come on now you do not. He was silent just stared and smoked. I said I hope I start getting my mail… He said “here’s hoping”

I walked away. Discouraged.

My family has a new expression if we think someone isn’t being truthful.
“You lie like the mailman”